I’ve seen a lot of things talking about how ocd attacks what you value most and I’m trying to figure out what that is, I suffer from ROCD AND HOCD. If anyone suffers from the same thing or may know what those people who suffer from those themes usually value please let me know, I’m still trying to figure out what I value the most to get a better understanding of these themes
For me, mine focuses on cheating. At first I thought it was because I valued my relationship. But the more I discussed with my therapist, I think due to having cheated and being cheated on in my past, it really actually was focusing on my desire to be a good person and partner. The idea of past mistakes and the possibility of repeating them, especially because I had felt what it was like to be the victim, really bothered me. I think sometimes what OCD latches onto can be something more ambiguous like that, because it's the uncertainty and thoughts of "perfectionism" that are easy for it to feed off of. I've been trying to judge myself less harshly, and realized that a lot of moral standards aren't so cut and dry in reality, and that's helped a lot. We're all humans, and we are all works in progress, and sometimes that means mistakes! Be kind to yourself! 😊
I wanted to answer this because I also struggled with this question. Themes can evolve over time, I have had many in 15+ years living with ocd (at times worse). I think the values are more general for me: evolving as a person, understanding complexity, being honest, are a few I can think of. These can apply to any themes really, I think it's better to start with YOU and ask yourself what your values are. Not the other way around. Not letting ocd dictate who you are without the themes is a big step to taking back your agency. I hope this helps.
I just wanted to add that I also used the "ocd attacks what you value most" as a compulsion, trying to convince myself I care about something etc. And it was not helpful. Ultimately you have values outside of ocd and ocd is just in the way of being able to act those out sometimes. That's my input!
@krikri_ A lot of my values are centered around being the best possible person I can be and treating people with kindness. Idk if that counts as values or not. Also growing up I also envisioned myself becoming a father and having a wife that I love but now these thoughts are the total opposite
@KeepPushing For sure, those are good values to have. I guess my comment was more so like.. put those values first and not in relation to OCD. Idk if that makes sense!! I just find that when I try to figure out who I am because of my ocd themes, I usually find that limiting or a sure fire way for ocd to get worse. I totally get what other people are saying to this as well though!
For me, I understand OCD attacking what I care most about as validation that what I’m experiencing is in fact OCD, and therefore can’t be fully trusted. I wouldn’t feel the amount of anxiety and distress i do if I knew deep down that I wanted to break up with my fiancé, or that something has to feel “just right.” I hope that makes sense, I’m happy to elaborate. For me, I know what I’m looking for in a partner, and know my “core values” as a human being: empathy, compassion, closeness to family, etc. So anything that tries to dismantle that (Do you care about them? Do you actually hate your mom? What if…? Etc.) I know is just my intrusive thoughts & feelings.
@Jen26 What I value, IS my relationship with my partner. And I know that from evidence throughout our relationship in the past 4 years. I value my parents & brothers, I love them so much, but when I was younger, I had to do certain rituals every night so they “wouldn’t get hurt.” Sometimes OCD can latch onto a different theme if it’s not getting to you on one - when I was finally managing some of my ROCD, i started to get more false memory thoughts or magical thinking ones. It’s wild & annoying & distressing, but it’s just trying to one up itself any way it can. You got this!
I'm curious about the breakup and just right part. I also suffer from ROCD :(
This might be a dumb question but I heard that ocd attacks what you value the most, but I value my family the most more than I value kids I guess so why do I have pocd and not harm ocd about hurting my family?
Is it true that OCD latches onto thing you value most? My themes are: pure OCD, POCD, and real event. If those are my themes, what does that mean about what I value?
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