Creating Sneaky Compulsions

The biggest compulsion of mine is reassurance-seeking. Sometimes I have the urge to ask really strange questions to my friends/co-workers etc. I get really annoyed sometimes at how creative my mind can be to come up with questions that doesn’t sound strange, in order to get reassurances. Currently I’m dealing with false memory OCD x relationship OCD so I’ll feel the urge to ask questions to friends to make sure I’ve not cheated before, E.g. hey have we ever gotten physically intimate before? What were we doing in April when we met? Did we really didn’t do anything inappropriate? which by itself sounds very odd to people. So my mind will try to come up with really creative stories to make my question sound as natural as possible so that I can get my reassurance/answer. (Ha. Nice try OCD) However, I know this is OCD and I know that I absolutely do not want to ask these questions (OCD is bullying me into asking) And it is the strangeness of these questions that is a motivation for me to not perform these compulsions. Because I don’t want to ruin my friendships or cause people to think I’m strange. But I have to admit, it’s not exactly the easiest to stop performing these compulsions. Has anyone experienced something similar?

Username: hayashiyuna333hayashiyuna333

Date posted: 1y ago

Yeah! Reassurance-seeking also has me making up elaborate storylines or situations that may or may not be true (I have difficulty telling the two apart anyway), but presenting them in such an indirect way that the "hidden" intention of seeking reassurance and/or certainty (whether I'm aware of it or not at the time) masks as a genuine, natural question or concern. It's like, testing the waters without making my intentions too visible so that I can get an "answer." Most of the time, I either don't realize I'm doing it and/or I'm too distressed to keep myself from doing it. Oftentimes, indirect reassurance-seeking doesn't provide an answer that feels definite enough, so I get increasingly direct, pressing for an answer that feels like "enough"; it doesn't exist, and any relief is short-lived regardless.

Username: YukoYuko

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@hayashiyuna333 Totally… I agree with you 100% when I ask for reassurance and when the answer feels vague, I keep pressing for a more “direct” answer too… and most of the time I didn’t even want to ask the question in the first place but I gave into anxiety :(

Username: SinaratheusSinaratheus

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Absolutely same here! I notice myself asking for reassurance from my loved ones in Weirdly Sneaky Ways. I have ROCD and I’ll occasionally go to my girlfriend and say things like “I hope we have a future together.” (Implying that she tell me that we will or that she hopes so too to reassure me that she still loves me). There are some other examples but they’re all pretty specific or relate to other OCD subtypes too (Not sure which ones though). But yes! Absolutely I find myself being Sneaky Sneaky accidentally on how to get reassurance from people. I’ve only just now noticed it and have started to work with it though. Hard work to do!

Username: YukoYuko

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Sinaratheus Yesssss I gave in to OCD so many times and allowed myself to get reassurance so many times that it’s so hard to resist asking questions now ;( worse part is, if I were to ever tell my bf “hey I don’t know if I’ve cheated on you before… I think I didn’t but I’m not sure” I’m pretty sure he’ll get upset (as he should) because he probably do not understand what it is like to have false memory OCD. (Although he knows I have OCD) And it’s tough not being able to share my struggles with him because it might potentially make him reconsider our relationship… I don’t want OCD to ruin my relationship so I’m trying hard to not give in to my compulsions

Username: Chicken11 Chicken11

Date posted: 1y ago

I also struggle with false memory ocd and relationship OCD. I've told all of my boyfriends friends about it because I got tired of trying to make reassurance questions seem weird. Now I just strait up ask them, almost routinely, if I've ever done anything intimate with them. They are used to the questions now and always remind me that I've been loyal and good to my man

Username: YukoYuko

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Chicken11 Ahhh I feel that too but some of the people I want to ask reassurance from are not close friends (e.g. someone I went out with once in the past and had a brief convo with a week ago etc.) so I don’t even feel comfortable to share with them about my condition, or I don’t think they care enough to understand… so I used to come up with some creative narratives to get reassurance but now I’m trying to not get reassurance entirely. Which is HARD.

Username: sams07

Date posted: 5y ago

Advice please! I have OCD, and it’s wormed it’s way to my relationship. It particularly revolves around social media, trust and the security of being together “forever”. I whole heartedly trust my partner. However, we all know that OCD causes doubt in the most rational things. Lately, if I get an irrational thought, I ask my partner if it’s true or not true, I get the affirmation I need, and then I feel intense guilt. The cycle begins again because I feel insecure for asking such questions, How do I work through these nagging thoughts and not bring my boyfriend into it? I get super impulsive and just ask him to reassure me. When I don’t ask him and challenge the thought, I’m really moody with him. I’ve had OCD my entire life and have “cured” other obsessions/rituals but for some reason, this one is tough, since another person is involved. Any advice?!

Relationship OCD

Username: Maureen

Date posted: 5y ago

How do you know it's a false memory/OCD and not something that actually happened? I feel like a terrible person. I'm a very creative person, and the more I stress about whether I did this bad thing the more it seems real. The worst part is is that I have no way of reassurance without sounding crazy. I have ROCD and I randomly started obsessing over the 7 months of our relationship whether or not I've cheated on him. Even though I love him more than anything and I would never do that! I'm constantly triggered by coworkers or classmates that I've previously found attractive or liked and/or I know they've liked me or flirted with me. I'm at the point now where I'm rereading simple texts/straightforward texts of these people asking me about school work or if I could cover a shift trying to find proof of something I can't remember. My partner knows about my OCD and is very understanding and supportive. I feel like I'm living a lie. When this first started my rational brain knew this wasn't real, but the more I become obsessed the more it becomes more distorted. I feel guilty for being happy. I just want to be guaranteed it's not real so I can move on with my life. It's moving to specific people now and it's scaring me how real it feels.

Username: M4ks

Date posted: 2y ago

OCDtrying to tell me I do compulsions to seem cool

Do you sometimes do a compulsion and you think "Am I doing this just because I know that it's a part of OCD and I wanna have it because I wanna be cool or edgy?". I think of it every time I'm doing minor compulsions and it's so annoying!!

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Creating Sneaky Compulsions

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