I have no idea what thoughts are REAL, sincere guilty thoughts, and what thoughts are FAKE OCD guilty thoughts. I don't trust my thoughts... it's an awful, weird feeling. Almost sickening that I don't know which thoughts are real.
I think the thing to do would be to lean into the uncertainty. Maybe this is OCD, maybe it's not. It's really hard but eventually I've found clarity and stability from the uncertainty in a way. At least with some of my themes.
Well even non OCD thoughts aren't facts. It's a biological process. That's the trap. OCD traps us in this false reality of seeing the world in two extremes. You're identifying with your thoughts too much. I had the same problem. Distance yourself from your intrusive thoughts. You are not defined by your thoughts. You are your actions, relationships, values, beliefs, personality, and to a small degree you are your intentional thoughts. Not your intrusive thoughts.
It can take a while but it's helped me a lot to reframe my mindset concerning thoughts. I don't avoid them, push them away, I just recognize them as intrusive and say " maybe or maybe not who knows" and then continue with what I was doing because its more important to me. You know your values. If you do something against your values then confess or apologize then move on with your life. Don't give in to your OCD trying to manipulate you though. Deep down we know our thoughts are irrational. This means the true enemy is how we react to our thoughts and not the thoughts themselves as the OCD thoughts are meaningless. Most thoughts are meaningless. Train yourself to live with uncertainty by reminding yourself in any situation you can when intrusive thoughts pop up. Make it a framework for how you see the world.
Does ocd ever really make you believe that deep deep down it’s all true and real? I hate that damn feeling. You just can’t trust your thinking.
I’ve been struggling with the intrusive thought that I cheated on my fiancé sometime in the past, even though there’s no evidence of it and it’s completely against my character and everything I stand for. I don’t remember having these thoughts until about 2 months ago. The thoughts were starting to feel so real that I even started doubting my therapist. I was like “how do you know I didn’t actually cheat on my fiancé and I’m not just sitting here lying to you?” Does anyone else struggle with this?😓
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