ROCD

I think I have relationship OCD. I will be doing great with my boyfriend then out of no where I get this intrusive thought that he thinks other people are attractive and has a wandering eye for others and I need reassurance immediately. And when he gives me reassurance, I think he’s lying. After like an hour of back and forth repetitive conversation I feel better, then the next day it happens again. Every. Single. Day. I freak out and blow up and need reassurance. I can’t tell if I’m getting these thoughts because they are true or because I’ve been with someone in the past who has cheated on me so I believe that all people get these thoughts. I’m so ready for a cure. Does anyone know what to do? I don’t want to live with this

Username: SadUnicorn3 🦄SadUnicorn3 🦄

Date posted: 43w ago

I feel like you need to take a breather 🧘‍♀️… just calm down for a minute. I always used to be scared if my partner found others attractive, because of insecurities… then I realised one day it is NORMAL for him to find people attractive other than me… it doesn’t mean he wants to sleep with them or even sees them in a sexual way! You have to accept that is normal to find people other than ur partner attractive, heck, I do! And I won’t be shamed for that. I don’t perv on people or want anyone besides my bf but I still think there are lots of attractive people in the world. It is an unhealthy expectation to put on your partner and I have learned that through maturing and putting myself in his shoes, if I can find people attractive and know I mean absolutely nothing by it, then so can he… I think maybe you’re insecure thinking he will find someone prettier or something??? All I can say is that majority of the time (I know it’s like this for me) the person you choose to spend your life with, is the person you find the most attractive in ways that aren’t just looks either. Ask yourself, even if you think other people can be attractive, do you still think your bf is the most attractive person in the world? Ofcorse you do (don’t let ocd tell you no). Don’t associate a normal human thing (finding people attractive) and relate that to someone who has cheated on you, cheating is wrong and disgusting but your bf is NOT ur ex… if someone cheats that’s not because they find someone attractive, it’s because they are a cheater and are just like that. If you trust your bf, and love him, just accept that it’s ok to find others attractive. He probably doesn’t even think much of it if he seen a pretty girl or a good looking guy, he might have a thought and then as quick as that thought happens it goes away… it would be wrong for someone to purposefully think about someone for a long period of time and think inappropriate things, and with ocd it can sometimes make you think things for long periods of time when you don’t want to, but what I mean is someone with bad intentions fantasising about someone who isn’t their partner that is wrong. You can’t help fleeting thoughts. You can’t help if you think someone is beautiful. At the end of the day, your bf CHOOSES U. He sees you as the most beautiful girl in the world, so it doesn’t matter to him if he sees some other girl that’s pretty, that isn’t his girl so he wouldn’t be phased. Take this from someone who used to be exactly like you and never wanted my bf to think anyone was pretty or good looking…

Username: BC123BC123

Date posted: 43w ago

@SadUnicorn3 This helped so much thank you so much!! I’m trying so so so so hard to come to terms with that and it’s not very easy. It’s so hard for me to cope with reality

Username: Leo1000Leo1000

Date posted: 25w ago

@SadUnicorn3 🦄 This helped me

Username: lexicon10lexicon10

Date posted: 43w ago

You’re probably reacting that way because of your past experiences in relationships. You should probably take some time to improve your self health and heal your wounds before continuing a romantic relationship

Username: BC123BC123

Date posted: 43w ago

@AlexisK10 That’s the problem is I’m so attached and can’t imagine my life without them which is a continuation of my ROCD and I don’t know what to do. I just want to fix this so I don’t thing this relationship with this amazing guy I could possibly lose and never be with. I’m just ready for a cure

Username: BC123BC123

Date posted: 43w ago

@AlexisK10 I meant to say *ruin* not thing

Username: Angel20Angel20

Date posted: 43w ago

Can definitely relate and I’ve never been cheated on. I think it is your ocd. I suffered early in my relationship and it has come back in the last few years now since menopause hit.

Username: HxhjshdjdjHxhjshdjdj

Date posted: 43w ago

I’m in the same situation

Username: sams07

Date posted: 5y ago

Advice please! I have OCD, and it’s wormed it’s way to my relationship. It particularly revolves around social media, trust and the security of being together “forever”. I whole heartedly trust my partner. However, we all know that OCD causes doubt in the most rational things. Lately, if I get an irrational thought, I ask my partner if it’s true or not true, I get the affirmation I need, and then I feel intense guilt. The cycle begins again because I feel insecure for asking such questions, How do I work through these nagging thoughts and not bring my boyfriend into it? I get super impulsive and just ask him to reassure me. When I don’t ask him and challenge the thought, I’m really moody with him. I’ve had OCD my entire life and have “cured” other obsessions/rituals but for some reason, this one is tough, since another person is involved. Any advice?!

Relationship OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Anyone relate (ROCD)

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is an absolute angel. All throughout the relationship I would have nightmares and intrusive thoughts “what if he leaves/cheats”. And he would reassure me and treat me like the world revolves around me. Lately I’m realizing this was actually ocd and not anxiety as I had previously thought. I would get paranoid if he didn’t check his messages for a couple hours, I’d get anxious if I saw an ambulance heading toward his street while I was driving, I would ask for reassurance that he loved me constantly. Bear in mind, I have no reason to have these fears. My boyfriend is my best friend and has supported me through thick and thin and he’s amazing. One time a couple months ago I was being a bit snappy with him one night and I had the thought “only people who don’t like their partners are snappy with them” and it just stuck. Now I struggle with intrusive thoughts about my own feelings, do I love him, do I miss him enough, is my relationship going to end because this couple on social media broke up. I could deal with the thoughts about his feelings because he is so so good about making me feel loved but now I’m stuck in this constant guilt loop where I question my relationship for no reason then get anxious and feel guilty for even thinking that way because I think I’m manifesting it. Was wondering if anybody else in a healthy long term relationship has had this happen to them and how you talk yourself down :(

Relationship OCD

Username: dee012

Date posted: 1y ago

rocd help

me and my boyfriend have had periods where we fight a lot recently. Ever since then, a lot of people, strangers, coworkers, classmates, anytime, I am around them, I find them attractive, or find qualities about them that are attractive. I feel like maybe this happens because I am lacking something that my boyfriend is not giving me. I just don’t know what, I’m really sad because I really do love my boyfriend and I don’t want anyone else, but these thoughts are really hard to deal with. I also have coworkers that are males that I speak to at work, and I always get intrusive thoughts while I’m talking to them or after. I’m really scared. This means I’m a cheater, or about to cheat. A lot of things have happened to me and my boyfriend’s relationship, not cheating at all but you know there’s way more than that that can happen. I feel like a lot of things have happened that we need to discuss and it’s been weighing on me and causing these thoughts. I feel like maybe I have these thoughts about other people, but my OCD makes it more than what it is and gives me anxiety. Help :(

Relationship OCD

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