Help me know I’m not alone

Can anyone else with ROCD tell me their experience with it and their partner? How you’ve navigated it and how it’s affected you? I just need ti know I’m not alone with my thoughts that throw themselves into me when I’m with my girlfriend. Thoughts of hating her, of hitting her, breaking up with her, being angry for no reason, and more recently a forced numbness that scares me. I think the numb could be separate and could be stress and burnout from taking care of her the past few weeks emotionally without breaks pretty much and I’ve been drained and I’m scared my love for her won’t come back but I’m sure that’s not true. I’m sure it will. I hope it will but before when I had these thoughts they scared me a lot more now in more numb to them. I get scared that if I’m not obsessing over her then I don’t love her, or if I don’t want to be with her 24/7 then I shouldn’t be with her at all. Could anyone share their experiences?

Username: Laura.1999Laura.1999

Date posted: 39w ago

Hi, I have rocd and have been in a relationship about 2 years now. I have some thoughts, and I hope I can help! You aren't going to be obsessed with someone 24/7, that wouldn't be healthy. Also, you are NOT your thoughts, they do not define you or your relationship. Love should be treated like a verb, not a noun, in my opinion. Love is not something you "have", but something you do. So the question isnt "do I love them?" But, "does this love take a toll on me?" I know that's some hippie advice haha, but if you center "am I having a good time in this relationship so far?" Instead of "but do we love eachother like we're supposed to?" You can cut down a lot of stress. Try not to get caught up in the "supposed to" and instead just enjoy the happy times as they come to you.

Username: JosieSimonsJosieSimons

Date posted: 39w ago

@AvatarLaura That’s a really good way to put it. My main show of care for her is doing things for her. Yeah right now I’m emotionally drained because I’ve been helping her a lot recently with her personal anxieties and such, but I still do things for her. There’s times recently (mostly just today if I’m being honest) where I haven’t wanted to do these things for her. Maybe I’m just tired right now and things will come back? I hope so. I try to take care of her the best I can

Username: Laura.1999Laura.1999

Date posted: 39w ago

@JosieSimons You're so sweet for taking care of her, but you also have to take care of yourself and be able to trust that she won't completely fall apart without you for a while. Maybe take a break and see a friend, refill your happy meter so you can refill hers. You can't poor out of an empty cup <3

Username: shellbelle2shellbelle2

Date posted: 39w ago

@AvatarLaura Thank you so much for this! I’m so hyper focused on “am I supposed to feel more in love” or “could there be someone I’d love more” ect but then Im like I enjoy the life we’ve made & I enjoy our times together.. we don’t fight, he loves me unconditionally and I’ve never been in such a stable relationship.. but my ocd is trying to scare me & tell me that I’m making a mistake if I marry him in September. It’s absolutely EXHAUSTING. So this rephrasing you suggest is really helpful❤️

Username: Laura.1999Laura.1999

Date posted: 39w ago

@shellbelle2 Aw yay! I'm so glad I could help a little 🥰 The rocd pre-wedding scaries are so real. Be kind to yourself!

Username: ambermayxambermayx

Date posted: 39w ago

Hey, this is coming from someone who’s been in a 3year relationship now this makes me feel like I’m not alone because I had very very long periods in my relationship where I felt like I hated him and I kept getting angry at him for no reason all the time and thoughts of hitting him and it scared me because I was so confused and felt like I loved him one minute and then didn’t the next and thought there was something wrong with me because I didn’t know it was rocd I also thought I was such a bad person for getting these thoughts as he was doing nothing wrong and such a nice person Now I’ve learned that it’s rocd it’s still hard to manage but I’m glad I know that it is rocd and not me going crazy I still get confused and get periods where I feel like scared I don’t wanna be with him and they are difficult to get through but I just try to remind myself that they will pass because they do and then I feel so in love again It’s a cycle but I promise you’re not alone Last week I literally was asking to go on a break again because I felt so confused and was having an episode but then today I’ve been on FaceTime to him all evening and feel so in love I still am learning how to manage it and feel like I also need tips to help it because it can get so lonely and hard I never want to upset my boyfriend

Username: ambermayxambermayx

Date posted: 39w ago

you are never alone and im glad Ive come across this post because I’ve never said about the hitting thought to anyone because I’ve never heard anyone say anything similar and thought I was a bad person for thinking it and didn’t know if it was part of ocd but it’s so scary and I feel seen x

Username: JosieSimonsJosieSimons

Date posted: 39w ago

@ambermayx Yeah I’ve had really scary harm ocd thoughts about lots of people but it’s happened with her a lot. I once had the thought of throwing a kombucha bottle at her head and that fucked me up.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Hello everyone, I really need help or advice (advice that isn't triggering please). My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half and I struggle alot with ROCD. I get scared that I don't love her anymore or I'm just in denial. Alot of the time it feels like the feelings aren't there and I I even get uncomfortable at times whenever she tries to kiss me or anything. On the other hand whenever I imagine myself getting better and the feelings coming back and having a future together it seems like it's what I want. Sometimes, it's like I have urges to break up and get scared I'm better off like that, now I don't know what to do but I do know that I want to just get better and stay with her. I just want to know if anyone here feels like this or maybe gets these urges and gets uncomfortable with there partner. Again, please no triggering comments. I would really appreciate it.

Username: Butterfly_23

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD

General statement/question for anyone who can possibly relate: I've been struggling with ROCD for about 3 months now, the typical "do I actually love him", "what if I don't and I'm just leading him on", "why don't I feel connected any more, this must mean something is wrong with us", "planning the future makes me anxious because we might break up"...the list goes on. I've been especially struggling these past few days. I want a big future with this man and I've never second guessed it until all these intrusive thoughts have come into my life with a bang. I hate them. I feel so emotionally drained and incapable of enjoying the moments I have with him because I'm constantly thinking about the things missing. The fact I struggle to stay present. As we all probably know the age old reassurance after an anxiety inducing thought- I do this fairly often, googling my thoughts and why I'm feeling this way. I am so beyond exhausted. I know I want to marry this man and a future with him isn't scary, it's just significant moments that trigger me and suddenly I'm spiring into the OCD cycle again. I just want to know other people feel the same? I've been feeling so flat and disconnected from everyone, especially him which breaks my heart. I know I love him, so deeply - even writing that my brain said "are you sure you do?". I just want to see if other people experience ROCD similar to me. Thanks

Relationship OCD

Username: courtlambert

Date posted: 45w ago

I’m worried I have rocd?

I’m not sure if I have it or not, or if I don’t and I’m just a bad person? I’m even embarrassed to go into details but can anyone explain what it’s like, as sometimes my thought get so bad and intrusive that I worry I’m trying to hide behind rocd as an excuse and I am just a bad girlfriend?? Can anyone relate🥲I live my partner absolutely but sometimes I worry they’re not that into it and I overthink about what it would be like to be with other people, my ocd can be so bad I’m wondering and maybe wishful thinking? That these thoughts/ obsessions could just be the ocd? Please can someone explain their experiences with it🙏🏻

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