Am I the only one

When you are fighting your OCD or try to in this case get it,  that will just make the OCD continuing to stay . you kinda of have to learn to sit with the OCD and let it be there. I highly recommend looking up the term ocd response and exposure and what compulsions are and how not to do them. OCD is treatable, but it’s hard and it takes a lot of work to do so. I can feel you why you want to ride it and get rid of it I have harm OCD so I see graphic images of hurting people that are important to me or even killing them. It’s quite disturbing and I really hate them but I’ve learned not to react to them even though it’s really hard and they don’t cause me great distress anymore, but it took me a long time to get that point.  I wish I would’ve looked up more about OCD when I was younger so I could have got properly more results faster when I was younger.

I've never been worried about acting out my thoughts, I just feel terrible and extremely guilty for having such repugnant thoughts. My thoughts realistically cant happen, but everything I dont want to think about seems to pop into my mind. I feel as if I need to be forgiven to move forward. Im a loving dad and husband with 2 amazing children and all I want is to be happy again. Some days I know that I am not my thoughts and other days I can barely function because of them. Im what I would consider very educated when it comes to OCD treatment, but I still cant seem to get on top of it.