Newbie - fighting the urge to cancel

I definitely suggest talking to your therapist about this, if you haven’t already. And honestly, ERP is hard. I had similar feelings when I started ERP a few years ago-I had a lot of anxiety the night before my sessions, I was struggling with my exposures, and I never felt like I was doing them correctly (it also took me a little time to understand some of the terms and how ERP works). What helped me, was taking things one day at a time, and not looking too far into the future. Your fears of failing means you’re in the right place with ERP, because once you start tackling your OCD, it’ll push back by raising your doubts or anxiety. This happens to a lot of people. I wish there was a magic word to make this immediately easier, but there isn’t. I promise it gets easier, the more you do the work. And it’s hard, and it’ll suck some days, but you’re going to start seeing changes and feeling better. Be open with your therapist, keep showing up, give yourself grace and rest. NOCD has some wonderful support groups you can join, and it helps to hear other people share. Think of why you’re doing this—you struggled for years, and now you’re getting help. The time passes anyway—might as well spend it tackling your mental health so you can keep getting better. I wish you luck on your ERP journey, and I hope you know you’re not alone. ❤️

I am nervous before every session but I can tell you that it has helped me slightly and I’ve only done maybe 4-5 sessions with exposures! Take it one day a time. “Train insane or remain the same”

Similar to what other comments are saying, the fact that you are experiencing so much anxiety about ERP means you are in the right place! I know how hard it is when you first start. I remember being so anxious some nights I couldn't sleep at all. But it truly does get better if you stick with it :) OCD is all about staying comfortable and avoiding discomfort at all costs, so the only way to beat it is to "get comfortable with being uncomfortable." It sounds impossible at first, but the more you practice and get small wins, the stronger you become, and pretty soon, you may not even think about OCD that much! you've got this :)

I definitely get this. I dread therapy. But I also *usually* feel glad that I went. Granted, I haven't officially started ERP yet.