We are the faces of OCD

My therapist isn’t specialized in OCD. I’m her first OCD client. She told me she’s taking courses in ERP and specifically sexual OCD since a lot of my themes are sexual in nature. I want help, I need help. It feels like every time I meet with her I get set back. I make progress a lot on my own. Sitting with discomfort, trying to accept the thoughts and uncertainty. But every single time I meet with her, it feels like I’m explaining OCD to her. She even went as far as to suggest that some of my thoughts that bring me distress are mine. I am not a cheater. They are not mine. Why on earth would they not be intrusive if I was in tears about having this thought? I feel bad. I really do because I can see that even though I can very much see her mistakes, I can also see that she’s trying to help me. I’m just so scared of getting worse. I’ve been in therapy for 5 weeks now. I feel like had it been with a specialist, I would be doing so much better. Instead it takes me days to come backs to whatever progress I’ve made alone after meeting with her. She’s a great person, she tells me she experiences intrusive thoughts too and she doesn’t have OCD which helps me feel less alone but I don’t think that’s enough for me. She’s always available for a call whenever I’m in extreme panic. I just don’t think this is working. I trust her and I tell her everything, but it feels like she’s just listening to me talk the whole time. We’re doing a workbook but she gives me absolutely 0 input. I just read my replies and she just sits there. I don’t understand the point in that. I feel so anxious right now. She wants me to get properly evaluated for anything that may be going on because on top of the severe OCD, I was also diagnosed with PMDD, GAD, and MDD by my primary care doctor but I guess she doesn’t trust those diagnoses? My psychiatrist also told me I have ADHD, which I’ve suspected my whole life but it sounds like my therapist doesn’t know how to handle OCD much less OCD, MDD, GAD, PMDD, and ADHD. She’s questioning the validity of my diagnoses instead of helping me figure out how to deal with all of it. This is so suffocatingly difficult. I’m also a huge people pleaser so how on earth do I end this thing?

Hi, I need some advice please. My girlfriend has been in Mexico for a week and she’s gonna be there for two more weeks. She’s on vacation and I’m so excited for her and I’m so happy but she’s really bad at communicating. She’s really bad at texting and I know that, but my anxiety makes me make up things like she doesn’t care or she genuinely doesn’t wanna talk to me and it makes me panic. so I wanna ask her if she could communicate more but I don’t know how and I don’t wanna sound needy or annoying.. So I haven’t but I feel the anxiety of not know about her day.

At times, my intrusive thoughts get so intense that all I can do is lay frozen in my bed and hope I fall asleep, and usually I do even if I'm not tired. My brain just wears me out and I wanna escape through sleep. (Sadly it doesn't work all the time)

Right now, i’m waiting for a response from my partner. Yesterday, we got into a serious conversation about the repeated cycle of reassurance seeking and extreme anxiety. he’s been so incredibly patient but I think he’s hit a crosswords in that if I don’t make serious, healthier changes, he does not see the relationship continuing in a healthy or meaningful way anymore. This morning, I told him I wanted to give him space and to respond once he felt comfortable. I attended a support group today but I am consumed with spiraling, obsessive thoughts due to his lack of response now that it’s 5pm and I sent that text at 8am. I dont want to overwhelm him but i just dont know how to sit with the uncertainty. I feel like his lack of response and communication today means he wants to break up. I feel sick and cannot eat. I dont know what to do- any suggestions or thoughts?

Does anyone know of any rehabilitation centers for mental health? My ocd has gotten bad today to the point where I feel like leaving :( and desperately get help . Ever since I began medication months ago I been feeling fine but all sudden I feel like my episodes are rapidly coming back. I’m more responsive to them. I find myself ruminating more and engaging in compulsions. I feel embarrassed that my family would have to know if I considered making that choice of leaving . It’s never gotten to this breaking point , or at least I don’t think. I’ve been through this a billion times and each time it feels like it’s the worst and it’s gonna be the one that will permanently take over me and my full control. I’m from Elkhart, Indiana. Or if there’s anyone here that can talk to me I’d appreciate it I feel so alone right now and I’m more vulnerable because I’m home alone and I don’t have many friends. I’m scared that I’m gonna lose touch with myself. I don’t wanna lost my values or stop feeling my normal self. It feels real and scary. I want it to stop.

if so, at what point? and how much do you explain? are there sources you like to use that might explain to them what it actually is?

Feel guilty for not giving into compulsions like rumination and confessing? I feel guilt for having an intrusive thought, trying to shrug it off or just giving it a few seconds of thought and moving along. This sounds like improvement but I still struggle with the anxiety and the guilt. The shame. I’ll be okay and then I’ll remember I have OCD and my stomach will drop and I just want to curl up and cry.

Existential crisis pls help guys🫶 I’m finding that everything is pointless What’s the point of reaching my goals? Is God even real? Please help guys!!!!!

I can’t. I’m so scared. I don’t want to deny the HOLY SPIRIT. I keep having intrusives that make me question my real intentions.

Not like ocd compulsions but more you buy something you should not have or do some not bad but you should not have done. Examples like eating a lot of food at one time, start a random project when you need to do something else , do not do things you need to get done. Say yes thing you don’t have time to do. Can anyone else relate?

I have contamination OCD that causes me to excessively wash my hands/clean items with disinfectant wipes. I know I just need to start with small exposures but how do I do that without spiraling? I tried a while back by just touching the outside of my dishwasher and not washing my hands after and it led to me being unable to even exist in my house. I basically lived on my couch for three weeks as it was the only 'safe' space that I had not touched with my dirty hands. I had to take a week off work to clean my house to make it somewhat liveable. I still haven't got round to cleaning everything though so things like my kitchen are still no-go zones that I don't enter. I just don't know how to start ERP without it making everything worse. Any advice would be appreciated. I am not seeing a therapist at the moment due to financial constraints.

Yall these panic attacks are getting FOUL. please give some good advice. The ocd brain in me be telling me I’m dying and bout to head to the Gates of Heaven. Helpppp

my therapist suggested that some of my less bad rocd intrusive thoughts are actually mine, and not intrusive. She ended up taking it back when she saw the alarm on my face and saw how panicked I got. I feel really freaking anxious. We were only talking about it because I mentioned a lot of doubt surrounding those less bad ones, but it only filled me with more doubt. I don’t want those thoughts to be mine. I really don’t. I feel scared and so discouraged after this session. I feel scared about the worst thoughts, what if those aren’t intrusive. I feel so much doubt.

He won't use condoms due to ED, so I started taking birth control for him. He also refused to give oral until i let him inside me which was weird to me. Anyways, I went to his home at the weekend and it was very messy, tiny room, unclean. It annoyed me that he felt comfortable inviting me, knowing how tidy and spotless my house is, and it took me a few hours to get there on public transport. (I understand that rent is pricey and he travels a lot, but a toilet seat missing). He drives 5 hours to see me on some weekends but my place is always to a standard. Next thing, he always wants to be on top of me but it hurts me and he won't keep trying different positions, and says things like "I give up" then walks off to a different room and won't speak because I won't do it how he wants. I didn't wanna be in his house not speaking so I stayed with family last night. Am I out of order for leaving? first we had the protection issue, now the position issue plus his attitude. Makes me feel like im in the wrong for not letting him have what he wants after 5 months of talking and meeting. I thought once I started taking BC this would solve our problem but now it just feels like pressure, and he also says "you know what I'm doing" like I have some sort of game plan, when I would literally be happy kissing and touching because I love him. I can't figure out why he's so desperate for it, wouldn't he want to make me feel comfortable? This was the first time with him in his city, and he didn't wanna go out anywhere, not even to dinner. I don't ask for much

My head feels weird all the time, it feels like I have a tight headband around it squeezing , like heaviness and a really weird feeling, literally feels something is wrong inside, I also feel spaced out and this feeling of going literally crazy at certain moments of the day and the anxiety spikes. The thoughts are always there 24/7 even in the back of my mind, nothign I do makes these feelings and thoughts go away which is extremely scary. I can’t go on like this, wish I woke up tomorrow and OCD didn’t exist anymore. Do you guys also feel like this? 😫

Does anyone else relate to the above being the go-to mantra when OCD wants to manipulate you? It's a hard one to shake for me personally, if you have any tips for overcoming this particular thought, it'd be much appreciated! The current example: There is a sticky fly trap that hangs from the ceiling above our drying rack. I removed a strainer to strain my pasta and worried it hit the fly trap (even though I have no reason to believe it actually did). At first the voice was saying "better safe than sorry" and I was able to "overcome" it to drain my pasta but now that I have a bowl of pasta sitting in front of me, I can't get myself to eat it. Update: I asked my mom for reassurance and she gave it to me so, now that I'm eating the pasta, I'm worried, what if she was wrong. This is a pretty common version of a spiral for me when it comes to contamination and consumption, it's just very hard to shake the "better safe than sorry" mantra. No reassurance please, just tiprs to get over the "better safe than sorry thought." Thanks in advance for your insight and support!

Has anyone on here been on Lexapro before ? I just recently started it and I just wanted to see if anyone went through similar symptoms and if they went away at all. It started out as me feeling extremely tired all day long and now recently I feel numb like I have no feeling or reaction to anything like I used to before starting this medication. Has anyone gone through this? Does it go away after a while? Do you end up feeling normal and able to cope with the OCD better? Any feedback would be really helpful. Thank you

So I’m scared I lost feelings for my girlfriend of almost 9 months and I feel like it’s my mind overthinking and anxiety. I talked to her about it and I started crying to her because I don’t wanna break up with her. I care about her being a good person and all and just making sure she’s okay but I don’t wanna lose feelings and I would do anything to get them back. I had the biggest crush on her and seeing her with other guys before we dated even broke my heart for weeks. I wanna live a life with her but it hurts because I think I lost feelings.

I just ended my 2 year relationship with an amazing guy because my intrusive thoughts wouldn’t stop. I started Prozac 9 days ago and the first few days, I felt great and all the original love I had for my partner came flushing back. The next few days I started becoming anxious and today I had to leave work because I could not stop ruminating. When I initially broke up with him I felt a split second of relief, but now I am having the same feelings that I was having before and I don’t know what to do.

My life ended in july when this started. Im waiting for it to come back. Ive been unemployed and cant keep a job because its so debilitating. I used to be happy, But i dont think ill ever be okay again. Its like i died and im just here observing life happen.