How do I convince myself to start ERP therapy? Should I schedule a session even if I'm not ready?

Hi everyone! I have severe contamination OCD, and the worst of it involves fears of my beloved 12 year old dog getting cancer later in my life due to my actions. I was recently exposed to secondhand and thirdhand smoke and as a result, I have avoided seeing my dog for over a week now. I have been struggling with this disease for a very long time and it has only gotten worse over time. I also have other contamination fears such as just being a gross human due contact with bodily fluids or not cleaning my body adequately. I feel that some fears are more anxiety provoking and worse than others. For example, I regularly take 2 hours showers. But with my fear of bodily fluids and being gross, I feel strong enough to begin ERP therapy. Because the worst case consequence is just me being gross and embarrassing myself, but nothing more severe. With my fear of my dog getting cancer due to direct or indirect exposure to harmful household products, situations, or environmental toxins, I have not been able to convince myself to start ERP therapy. This is because I know that it involves accepting uncertainty or the small possibility that my dog might indeed get cancer due to my actions, and I just can't bring myself to accept that without performing the compulsions that I think will help reduce the risk (e.g. cleaning my clothes, car, avoiding him, etc.). If someone truly loves their loved ones or pets, I don't understand how they are able to just put this fear and the very real risk of it happening aside. Even after doing ERP therapy and accepting potential exposure to harmful toxins/situations, it is not as though I will see that nothing bad has happened to him and find relief, because my fear of him getting cancer is a long-term consequence, something that will happen near the end of his life. I desperately need help but I feel that ERP therapy goes against my values, who I am as a person, and would mean that I'm intentionally ignoring the signs that my dog is in harm's way. It almost feels neglectful to me. I feel that I am bound to keep suffering the way I am. And therefore I feel stuck and paralyzed. Any help or advice that could frame the situation a different way or show me a different perspective would be much appreciated! I keep reading that for ERP therapy to be successful, one must believe in better outcomes as a result of it, but I am just not convinced. Thank you for reading! Much love to all of my fellow sufferers <3

Username: NicaNica

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes, schedule a meeting with a therapist that takes your insurance. Don’t listen to the fear; overcome it by taking the first steps to getting better.

Username: borahae borahae

Date posted: 2y ago

Don't let the fear overcome. U got this. Take the first step. Good luck 💜💐✨️

Username: DutchgirlDutchgirl

Date posted: 2y ago

I could have written your exact post myself. I have contamination ocd as well and, yes, it feels so “bad” to do ERP. I feel like I am purposely putting my loved ones in danger (of my perceived contamination)…and that just doesn’t feel right. Through therapy, though, I am learning that my fear is irrational and I am living my life according to OCD lies. I am actually not living according to my values, as ocd makes me avoid people and places and activities that are important to me. I was afraid of my dog becoming contaminated from the road, so he didn’t get as many daily walks as he deserved…and I hate that. I used to avoid church and I hated that. I have slowly begun to do things that are meaningful to me…through ERP, and am beginning to truly live according to my values. It’s making me a better person…and I like that. You can too!!

Username: Lisa LeeLou Lisa LeeLou

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you for sharing what you are going through. I am sorry to hear you are struggling. OCD can be very unpredictable and overwhelming. I have multiple OCD themes that I struggle with and contamination is one of the main ones. ERP therapy has been very helpful for me. I have learned to address the fears and intrusive thoughts. In my experience ERP therapy doesn't try to change what is important to me. Instead it helps me to engage with what is important to me in a more effective way; without the OCD lens taking over. Try to please keep in mind that OCD is the "doubting" disease. Therefore, it is to be expected that thoughts are likely going to come up while you are exploring treatment. Take one step at a time a time. I wish you well on your journey and encourage you to at least set up a consultation with the NOCD team to discuss options.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

contamination ocd erp

i'm so scared to start erp as someone with contamination ocd and i honestly get so scared that it's not going to work (for me) because i genuinely can't imagine my brain not feeling like germs are scary and are gonna hurt me. like tonight i freaked out because i felt like my clean clothes touched my "dirty" shirt as i was switching over the laundry and it literally sent me into a panic attack about how hard it is to struggle with this. like how will i never find that as a threat? how will erp help that like will i have to intentionally wear dirty clothes? i'm just scared.

Username: sawyersaucee

Date posted: 25w ago

Terrified to work on ERP, any advice?

Hi, I’m new here. I’ve been dealing with OCD since I was 9 or 10 but only got diagnosed at 19, and started actual treatment a few weeks ago. I’m 21 now. I have severe emetophobia that fuels my health ocd and my intrusive thoughts have been so bad lately that I can hardly eat or leave my house. I don’t go anywhere except my bedroom and work. I even get anxious thinking about going to my living room. I started ERP with a new therapist, and I want to get better, but the therapy is so scary and overwhelming. I’ve lived this way for so long that confronting my fears feels impossible and I’m so scared to do it. I do everything I can to avoid anxiety attacks. I feel so unsafe in my own body because of the way I can’t stop fixating on certain actions and sensations. Does anyone who’s gone through something similar have any advice, or encouragement? I’m doing my best, but I don’t know anyone else with my ocd themes. Thanks y’all <3

Username: hannahbalrising

Date posted: 19w ago

Newbie - fighting the urge to cancel

Newly diagnosed with OCD but have struggled with depression, anxiety, ptsd, and night terrors for about 20 years now. Never knew it was OCD! Anyhow, I struggle with existential OCD and perfectionism OCD which has always caused me to dislike “regular” talk therapy because it never worked, there was no point, and I was worried I wasn’t doing it right. Well I’ve started ERP with my therapist, and now every day that I have therapy, I anxiously spiral about how it’s going to be bad, and I’m not going to get better anyway because I’m not doing it right, and what’s the point in getting better anyway. Sorry for the run on sentences. Does anyone have advice for getting motivated for therapy sessions and not fearing them? TL;DR: Does anyone have advice of how to stay motivated for ERP therapy with doubts of failing/anxiety/existential thoughts?

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How do I convince myself to start ERP therapy? Should I schedule a session even if I'm not ready?

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